How to Change your Behaviour--From Bad to Good

Posted by Sim Nueng on April 14, 2006 at 12:16:09:

I often hear parents commented to their friends that their children behavior will never change. Especially when this comment is made in the hearing of thier children, it enforce the lie in them. But I would like to suggest that there is solution to this syndrome of being stuck with bad behaviour. The following suggestions may help you.
1. There is hope. No one want to be stuck with bad behavior all their lives. They want to change to become good. They are many example of supposedly bad people who have change from bad behavior to good; some of them have made remarkable impact in our society through their changed new life. so there is hope for change.
2. Faulty Thinking. There is a saying, from the heart rises the issues of life. The real problem for being bad or rebellion is because of the faulty thinking. Some of these faulty thinking are due to having too high expectation of oneself, so because the person seem not able to reach their own expectation, they give up and show it in bad behavior or rebellion to get even. They look for scapegoat their failure. So I suggest that, have a realistic expectation of oneself and work hard to fulfill the expectation. Another dimension of faulty thinking is having bad self-talk. What do you say about yourself every day or every time bad things happen to you. Practice positive self-talk such as: "I am able to do this"; "There must be solution to this problem". "I am loved"; "God loves me". Stop look at your performance to measure your worth, but your humane worth is more than any accomplishment. You are important.
3. Community support. Parents, relatives, friends and society should give support to anyone who want to change their bad behavior. The above persons of significant should pray for and with the person. Give words of encouragement. Make correction in love. Tell the truth in love; example: the person who want to change may find his expectation from the community fail him in someway and say something like: why is my uncle/auntie did not carry their promise. A significant person to him should say something like: I do not know why but they are care for you. They love you, it is not your fault that they did not do it now but I am sure they will try their best. I love you and I beleive their love you too. You can ask your uncle or auntie next time you see them.
4. You are not alone. Every problems that you faced today has been faced and overcome by people in the past or even now. Just look around, and you will see other people are struggling with some kind of problems in their lives. Talk with them and ask them how they cope. You may find some tips to help yourself.
5. If you are a christian, pray for you kids. Place them before God everyday. You may not see answers right away but you have place them in hand of a great God who raise the dead to live, heal incurabe diseases of people and even died to save all people from the sin problems.